Reflections
On femininity, the female body and the concept of flaws.
Aude, 28
“It’s been quite tricky for me, because I come from a family where all the women are Asian. And so no matter what I do I’ll be bigger than them - my mum is half Japanese and Spanish and my father is French - and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve struggled with both wanting to look more Caucasian, and wanting to look like a Japanese doll”
Angie, 23
“I was really good at running when I was younger. Sprinting, little athletics, winning interstate championships… And it got to a point when you can’t do little athletics anymore, and my dad suggested I get a personal coach to keep going. And part of me was hesitant to do all the training and practicing because I may not enjoy it anymore, but another massive reason was because I knew that professional runners have to work out and go to the gym as well. And when I looked at the women in the Olympics, they were all so muscly, and their arms were super strong and muscular. I’ve always thought that if I ever work out and get stronger muscles, particularly in my arms, I’m just going to look so manly and masculine. And I was deterred from continuing my running because I was embarrassed that would be how I’d look”
Jo, 55
”When you hit 50 your metabolism slows. And I have so many conversations with my friends where I hear them say “I just don’t know what to do, I hardly eat anything, I exercise…” and it’s like they feel a sense of failure… like their body is just foiling every effort they have.
We should be embracing the softening, accepting gravity. But I know how confronting it is for me. It’s confronting now to look in a full length mirror. My skin isn’t what it once was.
I don’t even think its that other people are looking and judging. In fact I’ve found once I’ve hit a certain age, I’ve started to feel quite invisible”
Sylvia, 90
“I’m happy with my body, except my stomach. It doesn’t hinder me in any way - I can still get around and do whatever I need to. Bending down, moving around it doesn’t bother me, it doesn’t feel bad at all. As far as I’m concerned its just the look. I’m very conscious of it, and other people looking at me thinking “she’s so fat”. I’ve always been very conscious of it. I have a feeling if I gave away bread it would be different - but that would kill me.”
Rachelle, 23
“I think that its been a really hard lesson that I’ve had to learn in my adult life to start to think for myself and actually step back and realise that what I’ve been told isn’t necessarily true. Because as a child, and when you become an adult, you assume that you’ve been told the correct information for your whole life.
Learning for yourself that the goal you’re being told, that the ideal of what you’re “meant to be”, is potentially unattainable for you. Thats an incredibly difficult lesson to learn. For me, curly hair, big bum, big boobs - I’m never going to be the Instagram model. No matter what I do. And that wouldn’t be my healthy life, nor my happy life. Thats been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to accept. Learning to love yourself is a constant uphill battle, with reminders from every angle that you’re not good enough.”
Jen, 52
“I think women are like flowers. We start with such potential, and then start budding and blooming - and we can offer so much to the world, both with physical beauty but also with our essence - the smell of a flower can spread further than the appearance of it. But then even as flowers start to wilt, or even dry up, the beauty doesn’t go away. It just changes form. A flower has so much to offer even after the blooming has passed.
When I was younger, looking a certain way was so important to me. And I understand now that when you’re in that younger stage, you don’t have the maturity to have confidence in yourself. To have the maturity to look beyond that ideal of beauty. When you’re young you’re always looking for something beyond - something to prove yourself. And men don’t have that, not in the same way. That idea that if you’re beautiful you’re worthy. And then as women get older, in society we feel that if we lose our beauty we aren’t worthy. But I do feel that there is a wave of change - and appreciation for women in all their forms, beyond physical beauty.”
Larissa and Caitlin, 25
Caitlin
“As women we are constantly compared to one another, no matter who you are. And then I think we as twins there definitely is that extra layer of comparison. Because you’re always directly being compared to one another. And I would say even that a lot of it is internal, and internalised.” That to me is also the most frustrating thing. It never feels like it’s coming from external voices - only ever that you’re comparing yourself to others internally.”
Larissa
It’s a constant struggle of energy and time with “expected” beauty routines - and it’s whether you take part in them or not. I stopped shaving my legs two or so years ago. And most of the time I don’t think about it, and it doesn’t bother me. But when summer comes around, or if I have an event coming up, I do always have that internal battle about whether or not to shave. And then I spend ages in a cycle about why I feel those pressures - and the fact that it actually doesn’t make me feel better, I’m just doing it for society.”
Chloe, 14 and Melinda, 55